Given the roaring success that is BBC Scotland (audience share 0.11% ), the separatists have decided to launch their own satellite TV service that only lets you view official programming sanctioned by the party machine of the SNP.

Highlights include Planet Earth: Scotland Edition narrated by Sean Connery, Great Scottish Railway Journeys (Sponsored by Scotrail. May be subject to change or cancellation at short notice). Finally, Garden Watch: Glasgow Southside where live footage is beamed directly from Nicola Sturgeon’s constituency, so you can watch the neglect in real-time.

A nervous SNP party spokesman said, ‘with this new satellite receiving equipment, Scotland moves another step closer to independence, um, despite the machinations of Westminster’.

close

Sign up to receive our weekly newsletter and join the fightback against Scottish Nationalism.

© Scotland Matters