The Scottish Resistance To Organise Hot Tub Sit-In Protest

Fresh from valiantly manning the Scottish/English border where their noble, eternal and deathless (Well, 5 hours) vigil to defend Scotland from suspected Covid-19 infested English tourists was met with ridicule, a slap on the wrist from Police Scotland and their Dear Leader even disowning them, the ‘Scottish Resistance’ is now planning to update their plans in the light of new information they have received.

Spokesman, Rudi McDougall said ‘Apparently, the covid-19 outbreak in the borders was actually caused by a Jacuzzi party near Dumfries, rather than Covid-infested Sassanach’s from rUK like we had assumed. So now we are going to squeeze our heavy, hairy, lion Rampant tattooed, unwashed bodies into a hot-tub, preferably one made in Scotland, in order to alert our fellow Scots to the dangers of these disgusting Covid cess-pools. Plus, that drive to Gretna really tired me out. I haven’t been that close to the English Border since I was at the Nike outlet in Gretna Gateway to get some new tracksuits’. 

Teddie Henderson of the British confederation of Jacuzzi salesmen has reported that after the ‘Scottish Resistance’ were spotted in a hot-tub, sales throughout the UK have plummeted by 267% in the last week alone.

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