Covid-19 virus particle, DRFUFE-78, has spoken exclusively to Scotland Matters about its experiences of being infected with Margaret Ferrier: “It was fun at first, I mean I got to visit Parliament, was taken all about London, got my hair done in a beauty salon, met some police officers. Honestly, I was having the time of life. I met so many interesting people.
I had no grasp of basic financial concepts like taxation. I felt that I couldn’t speak out against SNP policy and considering I’m a strand of genetic material in a fatty shell, this was quite an achievement”. DRFUFE-78 went on to say: “The experiences of Margaret Ferrier infection should not be underestimated. I still have mild symptoms like increased hypocrisy and refusal to resign from my position. So stay home, stay safe. Margaret Ferrier is still around”.
[PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A WORK OF SATIRE AND DOES NOT REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF SCOTLAND MATTERS]